The Final Fantasy Showdown: Let's Begin This
by ToumaKemp
Summary: The free-for-all for the title of best Final Fantasy characters. Language, some graphical violence, and some sexual innuendos.
1. Mercenaries

The Final Fantasy 7/Final Fantasy 8 Showdown

The Final Fantasy Showdown: Let's Begin This

By: ToumaKemp

Chapter 1

Disclaimer! Folks, I own none of the Final Fantasy Series. I do not own Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, or Final Fantasy IX. I also do not own the Yoroiden Samurai Troopers. I just used them to make up a fun story that I feel everyone will like. Please don't try to sue me because I do not have any money to give you.

Author's note: _I had to use characters that were not in any (known) role-playing game, so I used the Yoroiden Samurai Troopers (also known as Ronin Warriors. Also, I have decided not to be biased towards anyone, so for anyone who has any kind of disagreements whatsoever, keep them in check for this story. To be honest, it is a slight crossover, but the Troopers do nothing but talk and introduce the fighters, so it's all about the Final Fantasy Characters. Hope you enjoy_!

"Hello, and welcome to the showdown of the ages! I'm Hashiba Touma…"

"And I'm Shu Rei Fuan! Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, this is going to be soooooo cooooooollllll!"

"Shu! Enough of the drawn out words! Get on with it!" Ryo calls out from his director's seat.

"Oh, alright, Ryo. Anyway, for all you people who have wondered which group is stronger, the Final Fantasy 7 crew or the Final Fantasy 8 crew, this is the place for you to be! If you ask me though, we could beat the shi…"

Touma presses the off button on Shu's microphone. "The point is to let each group duke it out in various one-on-one or tag matches to see which group is better. We were recruited to keep things fair. Now, on to Jun with a background on the two competing groups."

"Alright! The Final Fantasy 7 group consists of Cloud, Aeris, Tifa, Yuffie, Barett, Red XIII, Cid, and Sephiroth. The Final Fantasy 8 group consists of Squall, Rinoa, Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, Zell, Laguna, and Seifer."

"Thank you, Jun. Now to Rajura and the first combatants."

"Okay, Squall and Cloud. Man, you guys have weird names."

"…Whatever."

"Let's just get on with it."

"Okay, then. You two will combat first. Let me see the weapons you will be carrying onto the battlefield." Squall holds up Lion Heart. "Cloud?"

Cloud draws the Ultimate Weapon. "Satisfied?"

"You've got armor and an accessory. Let me see them."

"Fine." Cloud pulls out a ribbon and shows Rajura the Mystile.

"Now I'm satisfied. All right, Squall, I'm aware that you use guardian forces in battle. Who are you going to use?"

"Easy. Diablos, Doomtrain, Bahamut, Leviathan, Siren, and Cactuar."

"What magic attacks are you going to use or junction?"

"Ultima, Meteor, Full-Life, Flare, Aura, Tornado, Triple, and Meltdown."

"Cloud, I'm aware that you use materia. What will you take with you?"

"HP Plus, MP Plus, Master Summon linked with Quadra Magic, Master Magic linked with MP Turbo, Counter Attack, Magic Counter with Ultima, Enemy Skill, 4xCut, Final Attack linked with Knights of Round, and Luck Plus."

"That's a complete list. Well, now that we've gotten all the sidebar items out of the way…"

"That's not it," Cloud interjects. I want to know what abilities he's going to use."

"Fine. I'll have Attack, Recover, GF, and Magic." Cloud stares at Squall. "I'll also have Strength times 60, Vitality times 60, Spirit times 60, and Magic times 60." Cloud continues looking at Squall. "You're sneaky, Cloud. You know that?" Cloud just smiles. "I'll have Confuse, Death, Berserk, and Sleep junctioned to Status Defense. I'll have Bio junctioned to Status Attack. Firaga will be junctioned to Elemental Attack. Quake, Blizzaga, Thundaga, and Aero will be junctioned to Elemental Defense. Full-Life will be junctioned to HP, Meteor to Strength, Meltdown to Vitality, Ultima to Magic, Reflect to Spirit, Aura to Hit Percentage, Triple to Speed, Flare to Evade, and Demi to Luck."

"Is that it now?"

"Nope," Squall says. Cloud stares blankly at him. "I want to know the items Cloud is carrying around, since he always has access to his item bag."

Cloud looks sourly at Squall. "99 X-Potions, 99 Turbo Ethers, 99 Hero Drinks, 99 Remedies, 10 Hypers, 10 Tranquilizers, 50 Elixirs, 25 Maiden's Kisses, 25 Softs, 25 Cornucopias, 25 Antidotes, 25 Echo Screens, and 25 Vaccines." Squall crosses his arms. "What now?"

"How many Enemy Skills do you have?"

"I have all of them! All right? I've got Angel Whisper, Aqualung, Bad Breath," at this Squall staggers, "Beta, Big Guard, Chocobuckle, Death Force, Death Sentence, Dragon Force, Flame Thrower, Frog Song, Goblin Punch, Level Four Suicide, Level Five Death, Laser, Magic Breath, Magic Hammer, Matra Magic, Pandora's Box, Roulette, Shadow Flare, Trine, White Wind, and '????'. Does that satisfy your wicked insanity?" Squall just smiles.

"Okay, guys, the fight hasn't begun yet. Calm down until I finish reading off the rules. Okay, you two, this bout will commence much like a battle game in Gold Saucer. At any given moment, I can block any abilities that you have for a given amount of time not to exceed two minutes. I may take any ability away from one of you or both of you, depending on what I want to take. For example, Cloud, I reserve the right to block the use of any color materia or your ribbon. Squall, I can disable your Recover, Magic, or your Status Defense. I can take your limit breaks away from both of you at any time. Do you understand and agree to the rules?" Both nod. "All right, then. Let me get away from the area, then you two can proceed to beat each other to death." Rajura runs to the door of the broadcasting building. "FIGHT!"

Cloud and Squall stare each other down for a minute. Squall prepares to call one of his GFs, but Cloud doesn't realize it. "I don't get it, Squall. How can you work with that weak junctioning system? That thing seems way too confusing. No wonder everybody likes my materia so much."

"Please, boy."

"Boy?" Cloud scoffs at Squall. "I'm older than you are."

"…Whatever."

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"That materia system can't increase your statistics to 255, can it? The junction system can, along with some preparation from the Island Closest to Heaven and the Island Closest to Hell."

"That may be so, but I can fight on Gelnika and morph the enemies there into sources to raise my statistics to 255. Also, I do have Luck Plus, Speed Plus, and Magic Plus. They help out a lot."

"I doubt it's good enough to save you, though."

"Save me from what?"

"From this! Diablos!"

Cloud smiles. "I've got you now!" He starts to run towards Squall. "Everyone knows that it takes at least twenty seconds to call one of those guys." Squall smiles back, fading from view, as the battleground is turning to darkness. As bats begin to fly up into a ball, Cloud realizes that Squall was standing there calling Diablos while he was bickering about how he was better. "That sucks." Diablos slithers out of the large bat ball. "This is not good. Big Guard!" The magical guard envelopes him just as Diablos sticks his hand into the ball, then begins to pull it down. Cloud cowers when the ball hits the ground. The arena shakes violently as Cloud feels over half of his energy being drained. "At least now my limit meter will go up," he mutters. As the darkness gives way to light, Cloud tries to pull out an X-Potion. When he realizes his item bag was sealed, he quickly glanced at Rajura, who was holding up a sign that said, "Items disabled." Cloud frowns and quickly casts White Wind on himself.

"Like Diablos?" Squall teases. "I guess it's time to give you a piece of Lion Heart." Squall rushes Cloud, hoping that his speed would be enough to stagger Cloud, but Cloud begins to counter each of the attacks with one of his own. The sky suddenly breaks to light. Squall backs up. "Gilgamesh."

"Who?" Cloud looks up as four sword float down towards the earth. A shrouded man stands in the midst of them. In the group of swords, Cloud recognizes Odin's Steel Bladed Sword and a sword that looked strikingly similar to Sephiroth's. "Death Force!" He wasn't taking any chances with instant death yet. Gilgamesh picks up a sword from the group. Cloud notices Squall sigh and wonders what was going on.

"Excalipoor!" Gilgamesh cries out an attack and slices at Cloud.

"What the?" Cloud looks around in disbelief. "That didn't even hurt! What kind of attack was that?"

"A very weak one," Squall admits. "But it did buy me some time. Aura!" A yellowish glow begins to surround Squall, but suddenly dissipates. "What the?" Squall looks at Cloud, who is staring at Rajura. Squall notices that the sign says, "All limit breaks blocked except for level one." The aura once again surrounds Squall, and he smiles. "No problems here. Renzokuken!" He gets five good shots on Cloud, but fails to do Rough Divide. Cloud instantly counters with Ultima, but it hardly takes off anything from Squall.

"Try this! Cross Slash!" Cloud returns the attack with four hits.

"Four hits isn't going to…what the? I can't move!"

"Paralysis, fool! This is my match!" Cloud looks over towards Rajura before deciding what to do. Rajura hold up the "Summon Materia Disabled" sign. Cloud curses, then decides on a better move. "Comet 2!"

Squall looks at the oncoming comets. "Hmm. Just like Meteor. Wonder how strong it is?" The four comets hit, but only take off a total of 400 hit points. The paralysis breaks, and Squall immediately comes back on the offensive, performing another Renzokuken and finishing off with Rough Divide. Cloud's Big Guard breaks the attack down to only 5000 hit points, but he is now in critical condition.

"Full-cure!" Cloud instantly heals himself back to full health and begins to attack again. This time, Squall doesn't put up a fight, so Cloud raises his Ultima Weapon into the air with both hands, allowing energy to flow into his sword. "Omnislash!" He then attacks with a flurry of swipes, ending by completely charging his sword with energy and bringing it down upon Squall's head. The fifteen-hit combo lowers Squall's hit points to 800. Cloud is confused. "Man, what are you doing?"

"No handicaps," Squall mutters. He gets up and performs Renzokuken, then steps back. His body begins to glow.

"What the hell?" Cloud steps back.

Squall has an evil, murderous grin on his face. "Lion Heart." He runs forward and uses his gunblade to uppercut Cloud into the air. He then attacks Cloud with his own flurry of swings, finishing by completely charging up his gunblade with energy and swinging it through Cloud's midsection. Squall returns to the ground on his feet, but Cloud lands head first. Squall, satisfied that Cloud is out, turns around to walk away.

"Not yet! I have one more for you!" Squall turns around to find Cloud up on his feet.

"NO! I DEFEATED YOU!"

"Knights of Round! Decimate him!" Cloud slumps back to the ground as Squall falls into a pit.

"Oh shit." Squall is attacked by the twelve Knights of the Round Table and King Arthur. As the scene breaks, Squall sinks to the ground, unconscious.

Rajura walks out to the field and examines both combatants. He shrugs. "It's a tie. No one won."

"And there you have it, folks! The first match ends with a double knockout! Will this kind of irony repeat through the rest of the matches, Touma?"

"I don't know, Shu. We'll just have to wait and see."

Rajura, meanwhile, opens Cloud's item bag and pulls out a phoenix down. "I think this is it." He throws it onto Cloud, who stirs, then sits up.

"Who won?"

"No one. It was a tie."

"That's because the both of you suck!" Cloud looks around for the new speaker. "That's right! You heard me!"

"If you're so tough, why don't you show yourself?"

"Fine, I will!" Zidane steps out of the shadows. "Happy now?"

"You expect me to be afraid of you? Don't make me laugh." Cloud begins to stand up using his Ultima Weapon.

"At least I wouldn't have lost to Squall like that. In fact, I could have beaten the both of you at the same time!"

"Oh, really?" Cloud mocks.

"Yeah, really!"

"Fine." Cloud reaches into his item bag.

"What are you doing?" Zidane starts to worry.

Cloud pulls out a phoenix down and throws it on Squall. "Get up. We've got work to do."

"What kind?"

"Eliminate a monkey."

Squall stands up and smiles. "My pleasure. I never liked him anyway. He broke the trend of lone wolf mercenaries."

Zidane is now wide-eyed. "I…I'm outta here!" He runs off.

"You can run, but you can't hide!" Cloud shouts. He and Squall chase after Zidane.

"What a wonderful turn of events," Touma announces. "Episode 2, Cloud and Squall will get their revenge."

"Yeah, but we still have to finish Episode 1 first," Shu responds. "Stay with us, we'll be right back."

End notes: _The first chapter of my first fic! What do you think? Review this!_


	2. High-Ranking Ladies

The Final Fantasy Showdown: Let's Begin This

The Final Fantasy Showdown: Let's Begin This!

By: ToumaKemp

Chapter 2

Disclaimer! Folks, I own none of the Final Fantasy Series. I do not own Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, or Final Fantasy IX. I also do not own the Yoroiden Samurai Troopers. I just used them to make up a fun story that I feel everyone will like. Please don't try to sue me because I do not have any money to give you.

Author's note: _This chapter puts five of the most controversial girls in the same area. Don't expect any brutal bashing of ANY of the characters, but for the sake of keeping a fight going, there will be some. Flame me for it and I'll just flame you right back. Now that that's out of the way, enjoy!_

"Hey! We're back! I'm Hashiba Touma…"

"And I'm Shu Rei Fuan! Last time, Cloud and Squall fought each other and knocked each other out. What will come for us today?"

"Let's take you to the floor where Nasuti will be introducing the next competitors."

"Hi! I'm Nasuti. I don't much agree to fighting, but since they're really eager, I guess we'll just let them go! First, let me introduce you to Rinoa Heartilly and Quistis Trepe!" Rinoa waves to the crowd. Quistis walks focused to the center. "How are you two doing?"

"Oh, I'm great, Nasuti. Finally, a place where I won't be hounded for the way I act."

"Rinoa, I'm not trying to be rude, but this is a place where all of us are hounded for our actions. Of course, some of us aren't as hounded as others…" Nasuti begins to giggle lightly to herself.

"No offense, Nasuti, but they are nowhere near as troubled as you are," Touma announces over the loudspeaker. "Just continue."

"Jerk," Nasuti mutters. "Next," her voice picks up, "we have Aeris Gainsborough and Tifa Lockheart!" Aeris and Tifa happily walk up to the center.

"How'd they bring you back?" Tifa asks.

"I don't know. A representative from the Lifestream just said that I shouldn't have died and that I'm way too important to be stuck down there."

"Wow. Do you know who it was?"

"No, but he said something about sending Zach back later, but that I was more important for the moment."

"What does…"

"Girls," Nasuti interrupts, "I hate to stop you now, but I have to be at the hairdressers soon and would really like for you to get this over with."

"Wow. Can we come with you?"

"Sure. Why not."

Ryo stands up from his director's chair. "NASUTI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he blares from his megaphone.

"Sorry!" She waves at Ryo, who hits his head with the palm of his hand. "Okay, there aren't really any rules like that last match."

"Good. I could barely keep up with what was being disabled." Quistis unwraps her whip, Save the Queen, from around her neck. Rinoa, in turn, checks her Shooting Star.

"Oh, I'm so ready for this." Aeris taps her Princess Guard. "Aren't you glad you kept this thing?"

"Yeah." Tifa laces up her Premium Heart.

"You all look ready. I won't stand in your way. And I don't really care what your do, since there aren't any handicaps." Jun runs out and hands Nasuti a sheet of paper. "Oh, there are handicaps." The fighters moan. "These last throughout the entire match. First, Aeris. You cannot use Great Gospel or Planet Protector." Aeris' jaw drops. "Tifa cannot use Knights of Round." Tifa snaps her fingers in anger. "Rinoa, you cannot use Invincible Moon." Rinoa shrugs. "Quistis, you cannot use Shockwave Pulsar." Quistis fumes in indignation. "What can I say. That's life. Well, that's all. You can fight now." Nasuti leaves.

"Let's just get this over with, Rinoa, so you can get back to Squall and I can get back to working." Rinoa nods at Quistis' suggestion.

"Look at those military girls, Aeris. So snobbish, I just wanna… ram my fists into their stomachs!" Before either Quistis or Rinoa could move, Tifa had already planted her fists into their abdomens. She then threw her elbows up, throwing the two stunned women onto the ground. "See? They're not so tough." Tifa turned around and began walking back towards Aeris.

"Look out!" Aeris yelled, but it was too late. Quistis' whip had latched itself onto Tifa's leg, and now Quistis was standing up.

"Why would you turn your back to me?" She yanked on the whip, dropping Tifa to the ground.

"And you should worry about yourself!" Rinoa shot her Shooting Star at Aeris, slicing her left arm.

"OW! That's sharp!"

"Duh, stupid. Angelo, where are you?" Angelo runs out. "There's a good boy. Wanna treat?" The dog wagged his tail excitedly. "Then do something for me." Angelo barked twice before turning around and digging into the ground. "Angelo?" Ten seconds later, Angelo pulls up with a potion. "That's not what I wanted, but you did do something. Here's your treat." She tossed the fabricated bone to her faithful dog, who walked away chewing. "Damn dog. Can't ever get me what I want." She turns just as Aeris' staff connects with Rinoa's head.

"I'm supposed to be worried about YOU? Look who's on the ground." Aeris raised her staff. "Seal…Evil!" Her spell bounced off Rinoa. "What?"

"You're trying to silence a sorceress? Bad move. Tornado!" A huge gust of wind picked Aeris up off the ground.

"What's with that short dress anyway? It's not practical," Quistis remarked to Tifa. "You need to become more," she flicked the whip, throwing Tifa off the ground and back down, "prepared," she repeated the attack, "before," again, "fighting," and again, "me!" With that, she viciously pulled Tifa towards her, then caught her and threw her to the ground. "Micro Missiles!" The ballistic attack reduced Tifa's hit points of 7832 by half to 3916.

"You! Beat Rush!" She punches Quistis three times. "Somersault!" He back-flip kicked Quistis. "Water kick!" She swept Quistis off her feet. "Meteo Drive!" She spun Quistis on her fist before casually raising her to the sky and dropping her. "Dolphin Blow!" A dolphin and her uppercut send Quistis reeling. "Meteor Strike!" She grabbed the SeeD, jumped into the air, then dropped to the ground. "Final Heaven!" All of Tifa's energy pooled into her right fist, then she viciously drove it into Quistis' chest. Tifa cheered as Quistis was blown back. "Stupid girl! Why'd you make me mad? Aqualung!" The large water bubbles floated over to Quistis and burst, docking Quistis' energy to 7500.

As the tornado died down, Rinoa ran over to Quistis. "Are you okay?"

Quistis mumbled, "White Wind." Both she and Rinoa were cured. The tone in Quistis' voice hinted that she was through playing. "Okay, you dumb bitches, my whip is going to be your new master. Cloud will be a thing of the past when I'm done."

Aeris blushed. "You're almost as bad as Cid Highwind."

"Think I care. Bad Breath." Smog filled the area.

"That's not going to affect us! We're from the filthy city Midgar. Nothing will stand in our way…what's happening to us?"

"Bad Breath does something you don't know about…Vitality Zero. You can't block anything we throw at you. Rinoa."

"Angelo!" Her dog trotted up. "Angelo Strike." She just waves the dog on, not caring who he attacks.

Angelo looked at each of the girls, then ran towards Aeris. Aeris, however, wasn't having any of it. "Seal…Evil!" She dropped her staff just as Angelo began to jump. Angelo landed harmlessly on the ground, completely stopped. She swung her staff, knocking Angelo away from her. "Dumb dog. Didn't want to play with you."

"White Wind!" Tifa heals herself back to 7832 hit points and Aeris to 6240 hit points. "Let's double team 'em."

Rinoa turns to Quistis. "We could get them on that Cloud thing. You know they both have a thing on him."

"Let's try. What have you got?"

"Just follow my lead. Can't believe you two would be fighting alongside each other, especially after what Tifa did with Cloud."

Aeris stopped. "What?"

"Yeah. She screwed him hard." Quistis turned red, along with Aeris and Tifa.

"What?!"

"Just before they went to Northern Crater! They thought they were alone, and Tifa seduced him!"

"Did you?"

"Well…"

"Wanna hear about it? Fine. They first did…"

"That's enough! I don't wanna hear it!" She swung the Princess Guard into Tifa's stomach. "YOU WHORE! I can't believe you! Couldn't even wait until I was completely gone, could you?" Quistis moved closer to the two.

"Aeris…" Rinoa stepped up.

"I don't wanna hear it!" She targeted Tifa's head with the staff. "I trusted you! Confided in you! And you couldn't wait until I was gone!" Both FF8 characters snaked forward.

"We weren't sure if it was our last night!"

"And?" Aeris beat her staff onto Tifa's backside. "I told all of you that I had taken care of it!" Before anyone could move, the Princess Guard knocked both the Shooting Star and the Save the Queen out of the hands of their respective owners. The staff then cracked the heads of the two unfortunate would-be attackers. "And I took care of it again."

"That hurt."

"Pulse of Life." Both Aeris and Tifa were healed. "Does that help?"

"Yeah." Tifa cracked her knuckles. "You two are dead. Bahamut ZERO."

Quistis sat up. "What's so great about a Bahamut?" If only she knew Bahamut ZERO was linked to both Quadra-Magic and a W-Summon.

Bahamut ZERO floated above the Earth. "_I am Bahamut ZERO. Never underestimate me._" As he charged up, Quistis had a feeling neither she nor Rinoa would be getting up after he was done. She was right. Eight straight attacks wiped out the two.

Nasuti looked around cautiously before stepping out. "The winners are Aeris and Tifa!" The winners jumped around in glee. "Now, let's go to the hairdressers." The three walked out.

Cloud met them as they walked out. "Can I come with you?"

"Oh, Cloud, silly, we're going to the hairdressers," Aeris responded.

Cloud threw his hands into the air. "Never mind. I have no intention of cross-dressing again." He quickly walked off before the girls could concoct a scheme.

Touma cursed inwardly. "Nasuti didn't even bother to revive the other girls."

"I've got it," Squall called out. He walked over and revived the two women. He held Rinoa. "Are you okay?"

"I was going to show you. I can fight too."

"It's alright."

"What went wrong?"

"Aeris read you. She knew it was coming up."

"But…"

"She probably read it in the Lifestream."

"Oh."

"Come on, let's go." Squall picked up Rinoa and carried her off.

Quistis stood up and shrugged before walking off.

"There you have it, folks," Touma began.

"Rinoa and Quistis thought they had everything in their corner, but the tables were turned as their own plan backfired." Shu grinned. "What awaits us next time?"

"I have no idea," Touma moaned. "Just wait for us. We'll be back."

End notes: _Not exactly what I had guessed. Oh well._


	3. Shooters and Fighters

The Final Fantasy Showdown: Let's Begin This

The Final Fantasy Showdown: Let's Begin This

By: ToumaKemp

Chapter 3

Disclaimer! Folks, I own none of the Final Fantasy Series. I do not own Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, or Final Fantasy IX. I also do not own the Yoroiden Samurai Troopers. I just used them to make up a fun story that I feel everyone will like. Please don't try to sue me because I do not have any money to give you.

Author's notes: _Just read. I don't really care. Just don't flame me. BTW, denotes talking to self._

"Once again, I'm Hashiba Touma…"

"And I'm Shu Rei Fuan!" Shu is literally bouncing on his seat. "I can't wait for this next match. The first two matches have already shown a lot."

"Calm down, Shu. Let's move to Shin, who's on the floor now with the combatants."

"Our next combatants are Barett and Red XIII…" Barett locks his Missing Score in place. Red XIII calmly strides to the arena.

"…and Irvine and Zell!" Irvine checks his Exetor. Zell back-flips to the center.

"I'm ready. I'm ready." Zell begins shadowboxing.

"Zell, save it for them." Irvine places a calm hand upon his jumpy friend. Zell slows down.

"Okay."

"Alright, guys. Here are the rules. This arena is now an actual battleground complete with various terrain, including hills, trenches, boulders, and lots of camping areas. Everyone has automatic limit breaks. In addition, Irvine cannot use any Pulse Ammo. Hand those over now."

"Damn." Irvine pulls out the ammo he had loaded into his gun already along with the rest of the bullets he held inside his coat. He then begins loading AP Ammo.

"Barett cannot use Catastrophe. Red XIII cannot use Cosmo Memory. Zell cannot use My Final Heaven."

"Why not?"

"Your ability to run around the world would give you instant sight to the location of your enemies. They can't do that, so neither can you."

"Fine."

"Now, Irvine and Zell turn around."

"Why?"

"Do it or forfeit." They turned, although grudgingly.

"Barett and Red XIII, run over there." Shin points to a boulder. The two comrades make their way to the hiding place. Shin walks over to the other two. "You guys run over there." Irvine and Zell run over to the covering. Shin starts running off the battleground. "Alright, guys! Fight!" Shin vaults for the safety of the control booth.

Barett immediately jumps up. "Ungarmax!" He lets loose a barrage of machine gun fire everywhere.

Irvine studies the shots for a minute, then switches his AP Ammo with Shotgun Ammo.

"What are you doing?" Zell asks. "Just fire!"

"I might be able to hit them both at once. Scatter Shot." Irvine moves from his hiding place and fires twenty shots. Each bullet flies to help scatter the boulders and rocks in an attempt to uncover the two enemy entities. "Damn." Irvine quickly switches to Fire Ammo and fires five shots into the clearing.

Red XIII walks out onto the fire. "Nanaki, you idiot! What do ya think ya doing?"

"My armor has Elemental linked with Fire. I'm fine. Stardust Ray!" Stars fall from the sky, raining down upon the two SeeD.

"I just wanna bust into 'em," Zell muttered.

"Stay here until one of them does something stupid. We have the advantage."

Red XIII looked over at Barett. "Aren't you going to do anything."

"Satellite Beam." Since Barett couldn't see his enemies, he just aimed in the direction he had seen bullet fire. Energy beams sliced down, blistering the boulders in front of Irvine and Zell.

"Shit!" Zell ran for a new cover.

"Zell! You just gave away our position!" Irvine ran in the opposite direction, hoping that this would pull at least one of the attackers off of Zell.

"I got this dick head shooter. Go after that wuss." Red XIII nodded as Barett shot after Irvine.

Good. I got the shooter. Irvine replaced the Fire Ammo with AP Ammo. I wonder if he can withstand this for very long. He pumped his shotgun, then turned and fired one shot. The bullet went through three boulders and crashed into Barett, instantly dropping his HP down to 4000. Two more ought to do it. Irvine took four more shots, finally dispatching Barett.

"Where is he?" Zell muttered. He really wanted to bust someone up. He turned the corner just to be jumped by Red XIII.

Red XIII was in a frenzy. He wanted to get this over quickly and get back to Barett before something serious happened. "Earth Rave." He pounced on Zell at least five times, silently calling forth elements to help hurt Zell.

Zell flipped back, two-thirds of his energy depleted. "Let me show you something _SPECIAL_." Zell smiled evilly. "Booya!" He grabbed Red XIII and viciously kneed him. "Heel Drop!" He brought his foot up in an axe kick and slammed it down on Red XIII's head. "Mach Kick!" He roundhouse-kicked the creature. "Heel Drop!" Another kick. "Booya!" Another knee. Light seemed to glow around his body. "Different Beat!" He somersault-kicked Nanaki around five times, ending up high in the air. He then brought his foot down on Red's head, allowing gravity and his weight to bring the two down.

Nanaki realized fairly quickly that he was going to be a pancake if he didn't do something quickly. He quickly thought up a great idea. "Typhoon!"

"What?" But before Zell could question Nanaki's words, an ugly little demon appeared. "The hell?" Typhoon blew a gust of air, throwing Zell back into the air. Nanaki was blown to the ground, where he looked up in pride. Meanwhile, rocks began uprooting as the typhoon increased its power. Suddenly, the typhoon flipped over, sending Zell to the ground along with the rocks. Zell winced as he realized he had almost no energy left. He looked up to see Red XIII standing over him. "Uh oh."

"Blood Fang." Red XIII ran through Zell, robbing him of the rest of his energy. He then sniffed the air. "Barett's down." He began running in Barett's direction and quickly regretted it. Irvine was standing right where Barett was. Oh well. Let's see if I scare him a little. He jumped into the air.

"Sorry, big cat." Irvine carefully but quickly raised his weapon and fired, sending an Armor Shot through the lion's head. Irvine tucked his gun away as Shin ran out.

"The winners are Irvine and Zell!" Shin began to grab Irvine's hand, but the combatant was already gone, two Phoenix Downs floating down to touch the fallen bodies.

"Come on, Zell, let's go." He was holding another Phoenix Down, with which he grabbed Zell's hand, pulling him to his feet.

"Yeah. We win?"

"Yeah."

"ALRIGHT!"

"Nothing to cheer about right now. Come on. There are a lot of girls to see and boast our exploits to later."

"That was…odd." Shu finally broke the long silence.

Touma blinked a couple of times. "Um…folks…uh…there you have it. A most brutal and well-fought match. Give it up for these fine competitors."

"Who's next?" Shu asked.

"We can't say that right now. Stay right here, we'll be back."

End notes: _That was a rough fight._


	4. Stealing and Swinging

The Final Fantasy Showdown: Let's Begin This  
  
By: ToumaKemp  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Disclaimer! Folks, I own none of the Final Fantasy Series. I do not own Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, or Final Fantasy IX. I also do not own the Yoroiden Samurai Troopers. I just used them to make up a fun story that I feel everyone will like. Please don't try to sue me because I do not have any money to give you.  
  
Author's Notes: Wow. No notes this time either. Read and enjoy!  
  
"You know me; Hashiba Touma…"  
  
"And of course, the wonderful Shu Rei Fuan! We've had a hard time coming up with the next two fighters, but here they are!"  
  
"And to introduce them, Lady Kayura!"  
  
"Hi Touma! Thank you for inviting me here."  
  
Touma flashes a grin. "My pleasure."  
  
"You know you don't have to call me 'Lady'."  
  
"Just giving respect where respect is due."  
  
"Aww, that's so sweet!"  
  
"Anything for you."  
  
Seiji whacks Touma on the back of his head. "Quit flirting while we're on the air."  
  
"Sorry." Touma rubs the sore spot on his head.  
  
"First, let's bring out Selphie Tilmitt!"  
  
Selphie runs out. "Whoo-hoo!" She starts bouncing around and ends up tripping on some of the loose debris left over from the last match. "Tee-hee, I'm fine!"  
  
Kayura covers her embarrassment with her hand for a moment, then regains her composure. "Next is Yuffie Kisaragi!"  
  
"Alright! Where's the materia?" Yuffie looks around, expecting to see materia.  
  
Kayura regards Yuffie for a moment before continuing. "Okay, girls. Here are the rules. Selphie, you cannot use The End or Rapture. Yuffie, you cannot use All Creation, Knights of Round, or Bahamut ZERO linked with Quadra Magic."  
  
"It's alright. Cloud won't give me Knights of Round, Bahamut ZERO, or Quadra Magic anyway."  
  
"Oh no!"  
  
Kayura turns toward Selphie. "What's wrong?"  
  
"I forgot to give Cait Sith back his bag! It's still in my pocket!"  
  
"What are you yappin' about?" Yuffie inquires.  
  
"Well, Cait Sith told me to hold onto a bag for him. I stuffed it into my pocket and totally forgot about it!" Selphie thought for a minute. "Well, it'll stay in my pocket until the match is over. I guess it'll be fine."  
  
"Alright, then. I guess that's it. You can fight now." Kayura disappears in a blizzard of cherry blossom and wisteria flower petals, only to reappear in Touma's lap. "Miss me?"  
  
Touma fell to the floor, barely dodging the clipboard Ryo had chucked at him, and smiled. "Not anymore; now that you're here. You know, I just keep falling for you."  
  
Shin turned to Nasuti. "I didn't know Touma or Kayura could act like that."  
  
"Give them a break. Touma's finally got a girlfriend, and Kayura's just learning how to be human, especially after being possessed like she was." Nasuti smiled. "I think it's cute."  
  
"You would," Seiji retorted.  
  
Nasuti stared at Seiji. "You must really like the couch, don't you, Seiji?" Seiji put his hands in the air, signifying defeat.  
  
Naaza and Anubis stared at their old leader. "Tough one minute, soft the next. I'll never understand women."  
  
"Amen to that, Naaza," Anubis replied. "To think that someone as tough as her would resort to childish games for some wimp."  
  
Kayura began to stretch. In doing so, her hands skimmed past the hilts to her blades. The jitte shined for a brief moment as she quickly pulled them halfway out and pushed them right back into their scabbards. Both Naaza and Anubis jumped, expecting to be hit by something. "What's wrong boys?" she asked without turning around. "Scared of me? Or, more importantly, my wrath?" She returned her hands to Touma's neck as the two began to back away.  
  
Meanwhile, on the battlefield, Selphie was making quick work of Yuffie, who suffered from a lack of proper ninja training. That was her own fault. Selphie first got rid of Yuffie's Conformer, then began aiming for pressure points. Lucky for Yuffie that she had the Enemy Skill materia on her Titan Bangle. Thank God Cloud gave me something other than the Ziedrich. "Big Guard!" Once Selphie's Strange Vision began bouncing off the barrier, Yuffie rebounded back and began assaulting her rival with a melee of thrown items and magic. "Back off!"  
  
"Yeah right! I've got a match to win!" Selphie swung her nunchaku, but was shocked when Yuffie nimbly jumped over it and to her shuriken.  
  
"Yes! Materia!" She jumped into the air. "Comet 2!" Huge boulders rained upon Selphie. "Ultima!" A green mist washes over Selphie. "Flare!" A super-hot flame lights up around Selphie. Selphie continued to stand, undaunted. "What?"  
  
"Apocalypse."  
  
Touma instantly jumps up from his chair, almost dumping Kayura on the ground. "What's Apocalypse?"  
  
Seiji and Ryo are fumbling and throwing papers around, trying to get as much information about the spell as they possibly can. They throw their hands in the air a few moments later.  
  
"Apocalypse is a spell we drew from Ultimecia during time compression. We don't know too much about it, since none of us really had to use it. We just drew as much as we could just to see how it would affect junctioning. We weren't even supposed to use it, but I guess Selphie has other plans."  
  
"Thank you, Zell. Back to the floor."  
  
Yuffie shakes her head. "That hurt! Alright! That's it! Doom of the Living!" Yuffie grips her Conformer and begins to furiously swipe at Selphie. About ten hits later, Selphie's pockets rip, and Cait Sith's bag falls to the ground, spilling its contents. Yuffie instantly stops, noting everything in the bag. "Materia! A lamp? What's this?"  
  
Selphie stoops down to view the contents. "You know, I recognize that lamp. I think Squall got a lamp just like this one just before our first mission! There might be a Guardian Force in there. Let me have it."  
  
"Sure. I just want the Materia." Yuffie collects the Materia.  
  
"Well, let's see what's in here." Selphie rubs the lamp. The lamp begins to shine, then suddenly explodes in her face. Cait Sith suddenly appears in the battlefield and begins to grow to gigantic proportions. Before Selphie can act, Cait Sith mercilessly crushes her with his foot. As Cait Sith steps back, Yuffie grins evilly. "Neo-Bahamut! And guess what? It's both W-Summoned and linked to Quadra Magic! You're toast!"  
  
Cloud steps into the control booth. "I don't remember giving Yuffie Neo-Bahamut, W-Summon, or Quadra Magic."  
  
"Why are you equipping Yuffie?" Shu questions.  
  
"We can't trust Yuffie to give back the Materia, so we give her stuff that still need to be mastered. They're useless to her unless mastered because she can't get into enough fights on her own to master them."  
  
"Oh." Touma turns to Ryo. "Should we disqualify her for that? She can't use Cait Sith like that."  
  
Ryo shook his head. "I have a feeling the situation is about to be resolved." He pointed out to the field.  
  
Neo-Bahamut was finishing its fourth circling when Selphie was suddenly cured completely. Yuffie, Cait Sith, and Selphie turned to see who had cast the spell.  
  
"This is an unfair advantage. The battle is to be one-on-one."  
  
"Irvine!"  
  
"Are you alright, Selphie?"  
  
"I'll live now."  
  
"Good. Hold on." Irvine pointed his Exeter towards the sky and shoots away Neo-Bahamut with his Hyper Ammo. "See, I'm not a part of this match, so I can use whatever bullets I want. Also, that guy Shin forgot to remove the automatic limit break from me." Irvine pointed and fired a Hyper Shot point blank at Cait Sith. "That should even up the competition." He pointed his gun at Yuffie. "I could end it…"  
  
"I've got it, Irvine." Selphie placed her hand on the shotgun. "Go sit back down. I appreciate you looking out for me, but I can handle this." She began to lower the gun, then viciously swung her Strange Vision at Yuffie's head. Yuffie could not block the shot in time, and she went down, knocked out cold. "Yeah! I won!"  
  
"Well, no you haven't." Kayura appears on the scene. "We were never informed about Apocalypse, so your using it was strictly forbidden. Remember on the contract, it said that you would not use any abilities that we did not know about."  
  
"It said that?" Kayura nods. "Sorry."  
  
"Well, that stiff Ryo wants me to declare a forfeit on both sides for this match, but given that you were beating the crap out of Yuffie, you are the unofficial winner. I can't make it official since you did break the rules, but that should be good enough."  
  
"I don't think it is." Irvine lifts his Exeter, only to have it brutally knocked out of his hands. In return, he finds the blade of one of Kayura's jitte up to his neck.  
  
"I may look physically younger than you, but I have 400 years of battle experience. Do not test me. Besides, we don't want to get Touma upset." She points up with her other blade to where Touma had already notched an arrow to his bow. Irvine wisely bows and walks out. "Sorry I can't make you the official winner, Selphie, but you should be happy in the fact that you were able to beat Yuffie."  
  
"Thank you, Kayura." Selphie walks away.  
  
"Well, that it for this fight," Shu remarks. "Touma, you can take Irvine off your sights now. He's not going to touch Kayura."  
  
Touma reluctantly brings his hands together, dropping the arrow and collapsing his hankyu. "At least it was an interesting match. The control booth has never been interesting before."  
  
"We can make it more interesting." Kayura was back in the booth. Everybody else went blank.  
  
"Is anyone going to revive Yuffie and Cait Sith?" Shin asked.  
  
End notes: Oops. Got a little carried away with the Troopers… Oh well. And maybe it's not in anyone's best interests to mess with Irvine… 


End file.
